Both/And - Embracing Duality
You Can Be Both: Embracing Every Part of You
I won't pretend you're perfect, and I won't treat you like you're damaged. You get to be scared and capable at the same time. Confused and wise. Stuck and still growing.
You bring whatever's actually going on - the mess, the confusion, the frustration. Maybe you're killing it at work but your personal life is falling apart. Maybe you look put together but feel like you're faking it. All of it belongs here.
Instead of racing to fix things, we slow down. We get curious about how you're showing up in these moments - because that's where the real stuff lives.
The Power of Messy Parts
When we own the messy parts and accept them - then we can start to grow. We can grow beyond pretending everything is ok. It's in facing the messy stuff that we connect with our strength, our gifts, our whole nature.
Fear shows up when we look at these parts. It's normal to want to focus on strengths and push down tears. Sometimes we need to do this - when taking care of our duties to family and work. But we also need space to explore what's under those tears - limiting beliefs, feeling not enough, or grieving a loss.
Under all of that is the chance to connect with real love. The truth that every life matters. That every person can love and be loved. When we accept ourselves, we can better accept others where they are.
What Our Reactions Teach Us
Pay attention to what gets under your skin. Notice who you judge and what sets you off. These reactions can shine a light on beliefs you may not even know you have. When you feel that strong pull of anger, judgment, or discomfort around others, it's a chance to learn about yourself.
Strong reactions often connect to your core beliefs about:
What makes someone a good or bad person
How life should work
What you expect from yourself and others
What you think is fair or unfair
What you believe about your own worth
For example, if you get upset when someone shows up late, you might uncover a belief that "respect means being on time" or "my time isn't valued." If you feel annoyed by someone's success, you might find a belief that "there's not enough to go around" or "I'm falling behind."
These reactions aren't good or bad - they're information. When you catch yourself in a strong reaction, try asking:
What belief am I protecting right now?
What am I telling myself this means about me?
What am I telling myself this means about life?
What feels threatened here?
Your reactions can be your best teachers if you're willing to get curious about them instead of just acting on them.
A Quick Check-In
Take a moment right now:
- Notice your body. Are you comfortable? Are you breathing fully? What do you feel in your neck and shoulders? Your stomach?
- As you notice your body - start to notice your emotions. Are you feeling the joy of unlimited possibility or the stress of not knowing what to do next? Are you feeling content with stillness or are you worried you're not doing enough? What's coming up for you?
- As you feel these emotions, what are you telling yourself that it means? If you were writing a story about your life, where are you in the plot right now? Are you loving yourself or are you telling yourself you need to do more to be lovable? Are you accepting where you're at or feeling like you're behind?
Both/And Living
Check in with yourself - are you willing to hold the fear and still take intentional action? Are you willing to sense into your confusion and start to untangle the situation? Are you willing to look at where you feel stuck and expand around it to allow for growth?
You have so much power to makes changes in your life. What do you want to do next? Is it time for stillness? Is it time to move your body? Is it time to make a plan? What do you want to do?